Prosaic soliloquies performed by a quixotic person

Archive for February 2011

A Clownish Model

with 4 comments

I’ve had a taste of doing a glamorous job four days back. Living in the fast lane and all that. Sort of. Alright, here’s how it all started.

Right after Chinese New Year, I got an unexpected text from the Uni asking me to attend a photo-shoot for which I’d model with the other two students for our programme brochure. Right after reading the text, immediately an image of me doing all sorts of dynamic poses and showing sultry facial expressions when a photographer captures my shots popped inside my mind. Snap! Fierce. Snap! Fabulous. Snap! Ferosh. And there would be a makeup team to doll us up for the shoot. Just like what I’ve seen on America’s Next Top Model. And the other two fellow models would just be props in the shoot and Yours Truly (ahem) would be the focal point. Naturally. Of course. Duh.

Pfft. Ha. Like that would ever happen. Dream on.

In actuality, it was just a simple photo-shoot. The Uni actually told us what to wear for the shooting session beforehand--asual business attire. So for that reason, I chose to wear my animal-print scarf, ruffled-front black top and grey cardi and pair them up with my blue jeans and dark wedges (which were Mother’s so they were pretty tight to put on; but hey, when it comes to fashion, you gotta suffer some). Anywho, being the nerd that I am, I turned up for the photo-shoot unfashionably early. Once I arrived at the campus, I finally found out who the other two models were. Julian and Diyas. Duh, of course. No surprise there. Julian being the brainiac good-looking Chinese boy-next-door; Diyas being the tall and charismatic Kazakhstani. A Chinese student and an international one. I guess I was chosen as the third model because I’m the only Malay in the programme and they needed a girl and someone of a different ethnic as a model to complete the picture. Off we went to the photo-shoot scene, which was the Student Lounge. Our photographer for the session was Ian and before the shooting started, he showed us what the concept of the photos would be like: Three models sitting on the floor having a lively discussion about a random subject and acting professional yet casual at the same time. Apparently, Julian and Diyas seemed very natural at photo-shooting. No uneasy pauses in between. I was impressed. Luckily, I was being natural too. Naturally awkward, that is. I made odd expressions and gave weird poses that I made the worst model look like an über-model (please do not blame me for the weird poses, I was trying hard to cover up my belly rolls and thunder legs during the shoot which I should have known made me look even worse than showing and embracing my physical flaws). Anyway, even though the uneasiness on my part lasted for only the first few minutes, it’d been really awkward.

Me: Oh, God. I’m so not good in this. Acting is not my thing. Doing poses and all that.

Diyas: HA HA HA!

Ian: You’re doing OK. Just act natural.

Diyas was laughing so hard at what I said like it was the funniest thing ever that came out of a human being’s mouth. I was like, ‘Huh? I wasn’t even being funny.’ Soon after that though, I got more comfortable and it felt more natural to me. Modelling started to become fun. And it was fairly easy since we had been given a guideline in advance, so we knew what we needed to do. Throughout the photo session, us three just talked about arbitrary things; from our assignments to the Uni’s prom night to where Diyas should go in and around Kuching. Casual stuff. Just to keep the talk lively so our photos would reflect the photographer’s idea. Finally when Ian said, OK, this going to be your final shots! We’re gonna wrap it up,’ I didn’t want it to end oh-so-badly. It’d been so much fun! Even if our photo-shoot was pretty tame and not wild like the ones on ANTM, it was great still. I loved it. And I said so to Ian.

Me: Hey, it wasn’t that hard. I kinda liked it. Maybe I should start a new career. Be a model.

Ian: HA HA HA!

Wha--? Where was the punch line? Apparently, I missed the joke again. I was beginning to feel like a royal jester entertaining the royal family instead of a supermodel in the making. Oh, well, at least I could provide some sort of entertainment to them. I guess the thought of my being a model was simply ridicule. Seriously though folks, maybe I should really consider the change of my profession path. From being an audit junior to being a model (albeit only a catalogue one). Ha, how about that?

Oui? Non? Oui? Non?

Alright, so it is a massive ‘NO’. Working in a circus and being a clown might be more suitable for me considering what had happened during the photo session. Sigh. How depressing. For what it’s worth though, I’ve had a blast during the photo-shoot. For that, I’m grateful.

Written by SZA

12 February 2011 at 7:49 PM