Prosaic soliloquies performed by a quixotic person

My New Roommate

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I’m cohabitating.

Now, now. Before you start clicking your tongues in disapproval, do read further. There’s a HUGE GREEN GRASSHOPPER in my room. It’s been here for two days now, and I’ve no idea how to get it out. My options are but a few:

  1. Get a spray bottle, and squirt the insect with water;
  2. Build a homemade insect trap: an empty peanut butter jar;
  3. Find a flyswatter, and smack the insect real good.

While the above options seem doable, I don’t think I’ve the heart to do any of those and hurt the grasshopper. (Go figure, I’m the person who spends hours in the bathroom because I need to rescue a trail of poor little ants on the wet bathroom walls/floor.) Even now, I worry that it hasn’t eaten for two days. The poor insect must be really hungry, I suppose. I do feel a tad frustrated, though. I mean, flappy insects freak me out, big time. Once in awhile, I do get some ‘unwanted visitors’ (e.g. massive lizards, baby scorpions, hornets, etc.) in my room, since my bedroom’s at the back of the house, and there’s a big, crazy jungle behind our backyard. I get scared when I see those visitors, but not as much as when I see the flappy ones. I wish I could just close my windows permanently, but it can get really stuffy in room without good ventilation.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the grasshopper. Well, now it’s somewhere in my room (my guess is behind the wardrobe), and hopefully it won’t EVER pull a crazy stunt like, flying towards me in all its glory, or entering the nostrils to build a nest in the brain, God forbid. I just really hope, it won’t ever be within close proximity of any of my body parts. Because, God help me, I don’t know what I’ll do if it is.

Written by SZA

21 March 2012 at 10:18 PM

Posted in Happening, LOL

Tagged with , , ,

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