Soliloki

Prosaic soliloquies performed by a quixotic person

Bad Dogs!

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[Photo: Going around, and around, and around in the round.]

A strange thing happened today that left me severely traumatized for life.

I was driving through a commercial area in the northern part of the city, when I saw a pair of dogs standing rear-end-to-rear-end, motionless, in front of a coffee shop. Suddenly, my memory flashed back to the time when I, as a kid, witnessed a couple of dogs running awkwardly because their tails were tied together by some mean bullies. Immediately after the flashback, I returned to the present moment. At first, my mind was in a jumble. I pitied the dogs, and wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I mean, what if they bit my head off? I didn’t care much about getting dirty if I touched them (dogs are considered impure in Islam), because I knew I could always clean myself afterwards. I only worried that I could get hurt.

Because I wasn’t exactly sure what happened to those dogs, I drove around the blocks again to see how they got ‘stuck together’. As I passed them for the second time, I didn’t see any tails being tied together into a knot or anything like that. Then I thought, ‘Well, OK, they seem to be fine.’ However, I still had this nagging feeling. And so, I drove around the blocks for the third time, and I got a good look (or so I thought) at them. As I passed the dogs, a terrible thought crossed my mind: the dogs’ pee-pees were tied together by some maniac psychopath. I was freaking out. And decided to make the fourth round around the blocks to see if my assumption was true. (Why I didn’t just stop the car, and take a proper look at them, instead of going around the block several times, I don’t know.)

Anyway, this time, the two dogs finally got separated. (O PRAISE BE TO GOD!) However, I saw something hanging from the belly of one of the dogs. Immediately, I thought it was his intestine hanging out. I’d never been more freaked out in my life. Seemed like, my relief was short-lived. Then, it occured to me, ‘If that is his intestine, why is there no blood? Oh…my…Lord. Is that…his…pee-pee?!’ Then I took a look at the other dog, and apparently, it was actually female. So, that means, they were mating when I saw them got stuck together!

WHAT THE HEY?!

I mean, there I was in the car, thinking they were hurt. And how was I supposed to know dogs could actually mate in THAT position? Even the animals shown on National Geographic and Discovery Channel never do that. And imagine if I’d made a huge ruckus about it, and called the Fire Department, the Rescue 991 team, and everyone in the area to help me ‘save’ the dogs. It would have been VERY MORTIFYING. Oh, Lord.

Oh, well. At least, they weren’t really hurt.

But still…bad, bad dogs.

Written by SZA

18 April 2012 at 12:04 AM

Posted in Happening, LOL

Tagged with , , ,

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